An Apology

How can one be educated if one doesn’t learn ever? I think a big part of education is to know how to remain stable. Each one of us, we think that we are doing “just fine”, but we fail to see the chipped part of us. Some deny it, some never see it. And there are some like me who are filled with oodles of guilt at knowing what their instability has caused them. Like every one, I have problems and a major one is anger management. Everyone gets angry, so do I, but in spite of my several attempts to channelize it somewhere positive, I often end up lashing out at someone undeserving. I did that recently (and it wasn’t the first time) and the experience left me embittered.

There are times when people feel disheartened, scared and doubtful, and these feelings give birth to a kind of anger that they fail to understand. If we fail to know us, how will an individual who cares for us know about it? What is the use of articulating eloquent speeches when you fail to articulate your doubts to the ones who care for you? Instead of understanding a question as simple as that, some of us just keep spewing fire. The problem lies with me and the innate human tendency of mis-communication. There are countless numbers of languages in the world, but there is not a single language which has been able to avert someone’s anger and stopped miscommunication from happening. We might be fluent in some language or the other but the fluency doesn’t help in making relations stronger when fury strikes.

To that undeserving individual(s), if you happen to read this, I have some carefully chosen words to say so that I do not create a scene again. I have nothing against you and you are endearing. I own up to my faults, all of them. It often slips my mind where I stand. I’m learning, and as I learn, I tend to slip a lot and create a fuss about it. You have been wonderful enough push me around just enough to make me want to get better. Thank you for teaching me to bear occasionally unbearable people, like me and I hope you won’t remain bitter for long. And here, I end my apology.

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